I am worried/curious/eager to see what our transition will be when we bring home our 5 year old daughter.
My husband and I are choosing to stand on the precipice and let our world be torn apart (the boys don't have a choice).
We pray for the strength, patience, and courage to absorb this collision. We try to prepare. How do you prepare for the unknown?
We work with what we DO know - hence the notes to self - what I need to remember in the days of trial, transition, and treasure.
- It is a process, it will take a long time
- At least 6 months to feel remotely comfortable
- Taking time for me will not slow attachment
- There will be a new normal - one day
- Share the burden - talk about the difficulties
- If you share it; you can bare it (I LOVE THIS)
- Acknowledge my embarrassment and release it (when dealing w/ atypical behavior)
- Get out of the house; a change of scenery breaks the crazy cycle
- Remember we are stressed, and can't think clearly
- Check expectations, dreams and hopes - keep them low
- Don't let today's fears project into worries of tomorrow
- Feelings of love will come in time
- We just had a stranger move in - we are strangers to each other
- Everyone is grieving for the loss the familiar
- Create a routine, schedule, plan - routines create security
- When overwhelmed, feel the fear, share the fear
- It is normal to ask, 'what have we done?'
- Read a book on adopting an older child
- It is a process, this too will change
Above all else .... know that we can get through it. We can. We are. We will and the metamorphis will be worth it.