Saturday, May 1, 2010

Notes to Self


I am worried/curious/eager to see what our transition will be when we bring home our 5 year old daughter.

My husband and I are choosing to stand on the precipice and let our world be torn apart (the boys don't have a choice).

We pray for the strength, patience, and courage to absorb this collision. We try to prepare. How do you prepare for the unknown?

We work with what we DO know - hence the notes to self - what I need to remember in the days of trial, transition, and treasure.

  • It is a process, it will take a long time
  • At least 6 months to feel remotely comfortable
  • Taking time for me will not slow attachment
  • There will be a new normal - one day
  • Share the burden - talk about the difficulties
  • If you share it; you can bare it (I LOVE THIS)
  • Acknowledge my embarrassment and release it (when dealing w/ atypical behavior)
  • Get out of the house; a change of scenery breaks the crazy cycle
  • Remember we are stressed, and can't think clearly
  • Check expectations, dreams and hopes - keep them low
  • Don't let today's fears project into worries of tomorrow
  • Feelings of love will come in time
  • We just had a stranger move in - we are strangers to each other
  • Everyone is grieving for the loss the familiar
  • Create a routine, schedule, plan - routines create security
  • When overwhelmed, feel the fear, share the fear
  • It is normal to ask, 'what have we done?'
  • Read a book on adopting an older child
  • It is a process, this too will change


Above all else .... know that we can get through it. We can. We are. We will and the metamorphis will be worth it.