Monday, October 18, 2010

China, 10/18: Ready to Come Home - Kind of

We have a lot of down time now.  Waiting. More Waiting.  Waiting is Annoying.

On the one hand I want to get back to my life.  On the other, my life will not be the same as when I left, and I am not looking forward to that.  Honestly I am more than a little scared to come home and hang out with Lea all day long.  What will we do?  What will I do when she yells at me?  How will I handle the tantrums?  How long will it be before we can really communicate?  How long until it feels normal again?

i am not looking forward to all the down time at home.  I don't like it here, and I know I won't like it at home.  Lea is doing great and handling the communication well, but I wish we could really have a chat.  I wish she understood what I am trying to say.  We do great getting the point across, but we can't chat.  I can't explain things to her.  I can't tell her we can't go to the bathroom in the middle of no where.  I can't get to know her when we can't really talk.

It feels like caring for a pet, and I wish it felt like loving a child, but it does not, not yet.

----------  several hours later  -----------------

Several hours later ... still feels like caring for a pet.  A pet for whom we have finished all the adoption paperwork.  We now just wait for her American Visa to be completed - then we can come home.  We have all day Tuesday free, and Wednesday we pick up the Visa at 3:30pm and get on the train to Hong Kong at 4:12pm.  We can hardly wait.

Having picture trouble again :-(