Thursday, January 20, 2011

Life with a Stranger

One of the many challenges in bringing home a 5 year old child about whom we know nothing, and who speaks no English, is that she feels like a stranger.  She is a stranger.  A very stressed stranger.

  • We don't laugh at the same jokes.  We can't even share jokes.
  • She doesn't know why I am being silly and lovingly teasing.
  • She can't tell us if she likes lima beans or cookies.
  • She  can't tell us what she did at school (granted the boys don't do this either).
  • We don't know her interests.  Although, we are figuring out she loves Babies.
  • She doesn't share our love of being outside.
  • Her idea of lots of activity is climbing to the kitchen stool 3 times a day.  
  • We don't know if her behavior is just 'her', or adoption related.
  • We are different and yet the same - we long to know each other.

It is tiresome to live with a child on whom we have imprinted NOTHING.  

I want her to become her own person, developing loves, likes and dislikes.  However; I long for the day when we feel like a family.  When it feels likes she is one of us.  When we really know each other, and are comfortable together.

I long for the day when I no longer walk around waiting for the next HUGE meltdown.  I long for the day when she can really share her thoughts, feelings, memories and desires.

As the longing grows increasingly impatient with the passage of time.  I was very touched to see her look like one of us - a little crazy and wild.  

Here is our blossoming gun toting ballerina, letting a little of the boys wear off on her.