Friday, June 17, 2011

What do we Have in Common?

I find it fascinating how so many kids that have been through trauma express similar symptoms.  Is there some secret book they read on how to behave if you have RAD?

I want that book, so I can rewrite it.  Here are the cliff notes, just from Chapter 1, of how to act if you have Attachment Issues:
  • You focus only on the negative
  • You have freaky weird habits regarding your bodily functions.
  • You constantly ask ridiculous questions, like why is the sky blue?
  • You constantly repeat the same things.
  • You always answer with 'I don't know'.  Especially if you want to piss your parents off.  (Of course, you really know the answer to the questions, but don't tell anyone.)
  • You try really hard to have a bad attitude about everything.
  • You require an explanation for everything, even when you already know the explanation.
  • You stare at your parents until you drive them absolutely nuts.
  • You do not laugh, have fun, smile, or engage with your family.  Unless, you are in public then you act completely normal.
  • You don't stay with your parents in public.  Just pretend like you are not following them - that really get them irritated.
  • You don't do what your parents ask.  In fact, it is best if you do the opposite.
  • You babble and chatter incessantly.
  • You don't ask for what you want.  You just state facts, like 'I am hungry', 'this is hard'.
  • You always need to go to the bathroom when out in public.
  • You argue with everything your parents say.  Even facts, like the sky being blue.
  • You care only about yourself, and think only of your survival, even when you know you are safe.
  • You always respond with 'I don't want to', even if you might want to.
  • You never try your hardest, no matter how good it feels to succeed.
  • You have frequent, unpredictable fits of the most ridiculous things.
  • You steal, lie, cheat, and always act as if you never do these things.
  • You ask controlling questions all day long:  'why', 'what are we doing', 
  • You act like you don't know how to play and as if there really aren't a zillion toys in the house.
  • You mumble and whisper so your parents can not hear you.
  • You act wonderful, fun, engaging and excited with strangers, but never do this at home.
  • You try to surprise your parents with your crazy behavior
  • When you are told no, make sure you freak out.
  • You either run around like a crazy animal or  walk like a snail to control your family. 
  • You keep track of everything, with extreme hyper-vigilance, that everyone else in your family does and gets.  
  • You make sure you always keep your body stiff like a pencil.
And that is just in the intro of RAD behavior 101...There are so many more 'common' RAD behaviors ... all aimed at controlling your parents and keeping them emotionally distant.  

Oh, unjoyful it can be raising a RAD child!  NOT!!!!   I love the child,and HATE the RAD behaviors!