There are times, like today, when I wish I could go back and be a little girl again. I want to trade places with my children. I want to take in all the LOVE I lavish on my children. I want someone to envelop me in similar loveliness.
I want to be the kid not the grown-up.
Being an emotionally mature grown-up is HARD work.
What I really want is to be noticed, to be recognized.
I have been working hard to change emotionally destructive patterns. I am attempting to replace codependence with healthy interdependence.
I am trying to teach my children, and myself, self-love.
The dragon of temptation continues to entice me to repeat the known and familiar. However, I want more for me and my family.
Despite the difficulty of cultivating the new, I will march on. I cannot go back to the old unhealthy ways of relating. Or course, I do revisit the dysfunction. In those moments, I remind myself of how uncomfortable the old is to the new me.
I will march on. I will lavish love on me.
I will re-parent myself and sing my own praises.
Praise for trying, falling down, and getting back up to try again.
I am so proud of myself for the work I have done.
Way to go me. Yeah me.
This is my fanfare, my love - to me.