Almost 5 years ago, we hoped to bring home a 3rd child to love and adore.
Almost 5 years ago, we brought home our 3rd child.
We never knew the level of love that would be needed.
Unfortunately, the love is one sided.
Our daughter does not love us.
Our daughter does not trust us.
Our daughter does teach us.
She teaches us to never give up, even when we are completely hopeless.
She teaches us that time moves ever SO slowly when it is a wound of betrayal that needs to be healed. The thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. It can only come from those you love.
In China, our daughter was betrayed and abandoned by the ones she loved the most. She believes this will happen again. To love us, would be too risky. She cannot risk her heart and affections again. It literally feels life threatening to her. She loved before. She was betrayed before.
She brought these wounds and many defenses to our home.
We now have wounds and defenses of our own. Yet, we must remain hopeful, loving, patient and kind. We must find faith in the abyss of despair. We must remember that under her pain is our 3rd child we hoped to bring home to love and adore.
We must love and adore amidst the hopelessness.