Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Wednesday Wisdom: To be Heard

I need to be heard.  I need to be seen.  I need to be accepted as I am.
I believe we all have this need.

 However, starting in childhood we are not heard.  

We, parents, feel extreme discomfort with our children's expression of strong emotion.

As adults, we carry this discomfort forward.

We all have kooky, irrational, robust feelings, and we all need to know these feelings (and therefore our very being) are absolutely OK.

We all need our feelings to be validated.  We need to know that we are not bad, wrong or crazy for having these BIG feelings.

When someone really listens, without solving, judging, fixing, changing or denying my reality, I feel loved.  I feel accepted, and OK.  In that moment, I know I am LOVABLE, just as I am, warts and all.

When I feel this validation, I then go on and live my truth, deal with my BIG feelings, and know that all is well in the world.

Without this validation, I wonder what is wrong with me.

I am learning to give myself this validation when I cannot find it "out there."

I am learning to LOVE and embrace those moments when another is able to meet me in the icky, freaky, stinking, hairy feelings.

I am learning to reparent myself, and listen to my younger self, and love her just as she is, HUGE, ugly feelings and all.

I am learning to BE with my children while they emote their ENORMOUS, grisly furry, feelings of life.

In the end, it is the most beautiful gift to myself, my children, my husband, and my family.

A gift to me.