Lexa has disrupted our lives. She has a mental illness. She may never heal.
I, however, have chosen the path of recovery and healing.
Living with a child who has suffered trauma is extremely challenging. It is not for the weak.
Yet, I was weak when this journey began. I was blind to the destruction a child could bring. I am stronger now. I have chosen to use the havoc as a tool to heal my wounds.
I have chosen to feel the non-stop pain of rejection.
In the pain, through the pain, there is healing.
A healing most people choose to avoid. It is hard work, again, not for the hesitant. It requires complete SELF examination. It requires daily dedication and tenacity.
It requires daily mindfulness and focus.
It is only after one goes through the healing of deep wounds (we all have them) that exuberant joy can truly be felt.
I have never felt so much rejection and abuse. I have never felt such deep love and bliss.
I am doing my best, some days better than others, to rise beyond the mayhem Lexa puts forth. I am using her trauma as a springboard from which I can grow spiritually and emotionally.
It is a blessing.
Here is an article regarding what it is like to live with a trauma child.